When I was around 4 or 5, I had a picture book about two siblings who found themselves in a magical land where everything was made of candy and sweets. There were ice cream cone flowers and lollipop bushes and I wanted so badly to be there too. My mom told me that if I drew myself in the images I could be there with them, and I took her very literally. I filled up every image in the book with drawings of myself and went to bed every night hoping to wake up in a sugary paradise. While I still have yet to find myself in Candyland, I’ve learned to cope and explore my dreams with drawing and painting. 

I spent a lot of my free time growing up drawing and creating comics, and I would bring them to class and pass them around for my friends to read. I even made a 200-page comic about girls who were admitted to angel school (the plot barely existed but that’s besides the point), and I was so proud of myself for completing something so long. 

As the leisure days of my youth passed, however, I was exposed to the realities of career stability, and I kept my passion to just a side hobby. In college I studied Computer Science and Economics due to practicality and a desire to support my family, but whenever I had the chance I’d submit a comic to the comics zine or take a class in Field Drawing or Painting. After graduation I went into software engineering and no longer had the time and energy to draw in my free time. Occasionally I’d sign up for a local painting class, but it wasn’t the same. I found safety and stability, but I felt lost (as many young 20-year-olds are wont to feel).

When the world came to a halt in 2020, I bought myself an iPad and started drawing almost every day. Time stood still, and something in my heart woke up from a deep slumber. I started to see how other people were pursuing their creative dreams (including my two best friends – writer @cellophanefield and writer/artist/traveler @thoughtfulwanders), and not only surviving but even thriving (some of my idols include Djamila Knopf and Leni Kaufman). 

“maybe I can do that, too.”

I got my first commission request from a complete stranger in 2020, after posting my art on a Facebook group called Asian Creative Network and I was so excited and shocked that someone would want my work! It was one thing to get support from your friends, and entirely something else to be solicited because someone admired your creative style. I allowed myself to dream a bit bigger and began to envision myself as an artist, and slowly I came to realise that I couldn’t continue down the safe path anymore without feeling like I was betraying myself.

It takes a village to raise a child, and in this case I’m referring to the inner child that I buried away for over two decades. Unlearning a scarcity and fearful mindset and learning to embrace and believe in myself involved countless days and nights of talking with friends, family, loved ones, therapists, and a coach. I don’t regret this time because I know I was growing as a human and learning to love and prioritize myself, and now I feel much more confident and at peace with quitting my job to pursue my Personal Legend (The Alchemist, anyone?). Through my stories and art, I want to create worlds where queer people of colour like myself can feel seen, loved, and heard.

As you read this today, I’m still at the beginning of my path and I’m so excited to share it with you. If you’re an artist, an agent, or even a lover of art, let’s connect on socials and work together!